We are doing a little Christmas thing for our favourite Haitian kids, and it’s got me a little at odds with myself. I’m also getting ready to pack to go home, and thinking about how much stuff I have there, and how much I have here, I almost want to go home with a suitcase full of sea shells and leave everything else here.
I came to this mission because I don’t believe in just giving stuff away, didn’t I? so what has changed? Am I just trying to alleviate the guilt of leaving Haiti- buying redemption, no longer through service, but with trinkets and toiletries?
That would be silly because there’s no way even still that I could measure up- I didn’t spend my money on most of said trinkets, much of it comes from the oppression of other children in other countries. Anyway, I could never work as hard as many other aid workers, or have a good enough attitude, or enough knowledge… I will never be good enough all by myself. Mother Theresa said something like, “I only look after the drops of water I’m given, God looks after the oceans” so I don’t need to feel guilty. But I do still need to know what things to give away and what things to keep.
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